Long ago, I began writing about things that mattered to me: learning to be a grown-up, family, marriage, culture etc. Then, I had little people…….. adorable little people, but still, incredibly-demanding-life-changing-no-time-for-bathroom-breaks little people. It was the best damn thing that ever happened to me in every single way, but it didn’t leave much time to write. It was a shame really because I don’t think I’ve ever had so much to say, at least not that mattered so much, that was so fully immersive and transformative. There never was something that I learned so whole-heartedly, with so much difficulty and with so much legitimate growth.
Then, came my son’s Autism diagnosis, a process which I’ll one day share with you (hopefully in the not too distant future). It introduced a whole new level of— everything. It was new pain, anxiety, self-doubt, anger, sleeplessness… But it was also new parts of my heart and my intellect that were brought to light. It was new knowledge, hope, endurance, and probably most importantly: BALLS. It was the edge and conviction that took a moderately timid people-pleaser into a mama bear full of conviction, curiosity and limitlessness. It was, in so many ways, exactly what I needed to get my head out of my ass in whatever way I was keeping it there (and trust me, we always find a way to keep it partially submerged..).
So, though my schedule is still far from what I’d like, I’m certain that sharing some of this journey to the best of my ability is something I need to do. There are so many things I wish I knew when the word “Autism” was first used in the same sentence with my son’s name. There are so many things I’ve learned from that faithful day that have brought hope, solace and purpose, things that I long to write for the sake of other parents who find themselves where I once was.
Finally, if there’s one truth I’ve found and must contribute to is that we are not alone. Those of us living on and surrounding the spectrum have each other’s back. I hope that my voice will be one in the midst of a wonderful, vibrant and supportive community.
So, here goes nothing…